JD Vance Jokes Marco Rubio Could Be the Next Pope: 'He's a Devout Catholic'

In a scenario that might be mistaken for a scene from a biting political satire, Marco Rubio is now the Trump administration's trusty utility man—holding not one, but multiple top governmental posts simultaneously.

53 now, Rubio currently has four critical roles: Secretary of State, Acting Administrator for the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), Acting Archivist of the National Archives, and, as recently announced this week, Interim National Security Adviser.

This new nomination was announced in trademark fashion by erstwhile President Donald Trump via a surprise posting on Truth Social. Trump announced the replacement of NSA Michael Waltz with Rubio, and nominated Waltz as the U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations.

The news quickly caused a stir in the capital and prompted an online wave of satire. Vice President JD Vance, never one to shy away from biting-tongued commentary, cracked on X, "I think he could take on a bit more. If only there was a job opening for a devout Catholic…"—a snide nod to the recent death of Pope Francis.

Rubio, who appeared on Hannity later in the evening, was good-natured about the joke. "We thought about it," he grinned. "But you have to be an unmarried Catholic male. People don't know that. You don't have to be a priest, any unmarried Catholic male can be pope. But I got married and I'm happily married, so I guess I'll miss out on that one."

The rise of 'Secretary Everything'

Rubio's series of tasks began officially on Inauguration Day, when the Senate gave him unanimous consent for his appointment as Secretary of State. His subsequent assignments have been less conventional.

He was quietly made acting chief of USAID in February, which was done before Trump allies Elon Musk and Pete Marocco led a significant reshuffling. Then, in swift succession, he was made acting archivist following the sudden removal of Colleen Shogan—allegedly on the basis that she had been involved in the restoration of Trump's Mar-a-Lago compound classified documents.

The latest move had Rubio take on the position of National Security Adviser, discovering it apparently as abruptly as the public. "He's been a frequent visitor to the White House," declared State Department spokesperson Tammy Bruce in a press briefing, The New York Times said. "It just shows the power of modern tech and social media."

Power grab or politics as usual?

Rubio's current portfolio of responsibilities is nearly unparalleled in contemporary American politics. Henry Kissinger, who was Secretary of State and National Security Adviser in the early 1970s in an arrangement that was controversial when it happened, would be the only faintly comparable case.

Watchdog groups are now ringing the alarm. "It is a difficult task to oversee even one federal agency," Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) said. "Rubio's dual roles raise serious questions."

Of greatest concern are the ethical implications of his dual role as the nation's top diplomat and the custodian of federal records—some of which may directly pertain to the departments he oversees.

Trust, loyalty, or centralization?

Insiders point to Trump's personal respect for Rubio and his close day-to-day working relationship with Trump's chief strategist and gatekeeper, Susie Wiles, as major reasons behind this convergence of jobs. Rubio's hardline views on foreign policy, particularly towards China and Iran, closely complement Trump's strategic priorities.

But some of the largest questions remain unanswered: Will Rubio get to draw two paychecks? Can one official dominate four vital agencies? And is this a case of a Band-Aid fix or a new, more centralized style of government in a potential second Trump term?

Unfazed by the cynicism, Rubio changed the subject to policy during his Hannity visit, taking pride in the administration's just-cut deal for resources with Ukraine as a geopolitical victory. "This is not our war," he declared. "Trump's been the only world leader trying to negotiate with both sides and end the killing. But if they're not close enough, maybe we should be more concerned about China and Iran."

The viral moment

Despite the political weight of Rubio’s new titles, it was JD Vance’s papal quip that captured the internet’s imagination. Vance, who had recently returned from the Vatican before Pope Francis’ passing, unintentionally launched a meme frenzy. Nicknames like “Pope Marco I” and “Secretary of the Universe” trended across platforms.

Rubio’s good-humored reply may very well become his trademark line: “I’m happily married.”