Three-time Daytime Emmy winner Maurice Benard, known for his role as mobster Sonny Corinthos in 'General Hospital', revealed in an interview with People magazine that he contemplated suicide during the pandemic lockdown.
He shared that he thought about ending his life "every day" during the lockdown, as his soap 'General Hospital' had shut down for four months, and his book tour for his memoir was put on hold.
Benard has been open about his battle with bipolar disorder, and he shared his experiences in his memoir, "Nothing General About It: How Love (and Lithium) Saved Me On and Off General Hospital."
He said that while at the time what he would say out loud was, “Okay,” what was going on in his head was very different. “I 'got it' but thought in my mind, ‘It’s the end of the world, too’.”
“I felt a real cold rush in me,” he told the magazine. “And then that night I was shaking like a fish out of water and crying like a baby. This had never happened in my life. [His wife] Paula’s on the bed and I’m like, ‘Baby, I’m done. What’s going on with me?’ In a calm voice, she says, ‘Honey, you’re fine. You’re gonna be fine.’ And I’m like, ‘What the f— what do you mean. I’m gonna be fine?’ I was stuck in this horrific panic that wouldn’t leave.”
To address mental health issues and support others, Maurice Benard started a podcast called 'State of Mind', where he discusses various aspects of mental health with fellow actors. This podcast release proved to be beneficial for him and continues to help him.
Due to the pandemic, his book tour had to transition into Zoom interviews instead of traveling around the country. Benard has used these platforms to share his experiences and offer support to those dealing with mental health challenges.
He revealed that he’d be talking with Dr Oz or Dr Drew or Charlemagne, the God on Zoom: “And what I really wanted to say was, ‘I'm gonna die. Can somebody please save me?’"
"It wouldn't go away. And it was bad,” Benard said, confessing that he would look at the tree in front of his house and think about taking his own life.
“I was just figuring it out because I didn't want to use a gun because it's messy and ugly. That's what I thought about every day — the tree. And, I just did everything that I possibly could to survive.”
He was 22 when he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1985.
(With Agency Inputs)
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